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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30081405">Starving</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietthingsheard/pseuds/quietthingsheard'>quietthingsheard</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Legacies (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Heretic!Josie, sort of character death?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:14:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,236</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30081405</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietthingsheard/pseuds/quietthingsheard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <span>The first thing Josie notices is the brain splitting headache thundering through her skull, making her sick to her stomach. The second thing she notices is the soft mattress of her bed pressed against her back and someone holding her hand. The third thing she notices? She's </span>
  <br/>
  <em>
    <br/>
    <span>hungry.</span>
    <br/>
  </em>
  <br/>
  <span></span>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hope Mikaelson/Josie Saltzman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>100</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>354</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So! This is the first fanfic I've written in years, so apologies if it's a little rusty.<br/>The inspiration behind it is Starving by Hailee Steinfeld, so I'd say it's very loosely based on that!</p>
<p>I hope you enjoy it, feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you think :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first thing Josie notices is the brain splitting headache thundering through her skull, making her sick to her stomach. The second thing she notices is the soft mattress of her bed pressed against her back and someone holding her hand. The third thing she notices? She's <em> hungry.</em></p><p> </p><p>Confusion grips at her, settling deep within her chest. If she wasn't mistaken, she was supposed to be in the middle of a fight with what could only be described as, well, a group of giant lizards, along with the rest of the super squad. It had been years since the last monster attack, peace and quiet settling in after Malivore was securely locked away in the prison world. Or so they had assumed. Because lately, the monster attacks have begun again.</p><p> </p><p>Slowly, her eyes begin to open. Just getting her eyelids to part is draining, her body fighting against letting the light into her vision to spare herself a worse headache. But she has to. She has to know what is going on.</p><p> </p><p>She's surprised to see that her room is full. The sound of crying hits her ears, and she instantly recognizes who the sobs come from. How had it taken her this long to realize Lizzie was crying? And what had caused it?</p><p> </p><p>With all the strength left in her body, Josie lifts her head just enough to be able to see who's in the room. Kaleb and Jed are sitting on Lizzie's bed, eyes fixed to the floor. Lizzie is standing by the foot of Josie's own bed, back towards Josie and MG's arms wrapped around her tightly in an attempt to comfort her as sob after sob falls from her lips, shaking through her entire body violently. Next to them, she sees her dad. His eyes are blank and shiny, red around the edges. There's no doubt looking at him that he's been crying too. What surprises her most is seeing her mom by his side, tears still flowing down her cheeks, although silently in comparison to her sister's. When had she gotten home?</p><p> </p><p>That only leaves one more person. She turns her head, slowly, and her eyes land on the person holding her hand. Hope. The grip is tight, their fingers intertwined at a weird angle. There's a desperation to the grip, like Hope is afraid Josie will disappear if their hands part.</p><p> </p><p>Hope isn't looking at her. Her head is turned away, her gaze fixed on something outside as she looks out the window. Josie opens her mouth, she wants to say something, wants to ask what's going on but nothing comes out. It's like all her strength, all her energy has left her and all she can feel is the sickness deep in the pit of her stomach. The headache etched into her brain. </p><p> </p><p>"Hey, guys?" MG's voice cuts through the room, making everyone look at him. Everyone but Hope. "Look." He points towards Josie on the bed, trying to alert everyone that her eyes are open. And suddenly all eyes are on her. All eyes except Hope's.</p><p> </p><p>The first pair of eyes she meets are Lizzie's. Her twin stares back at her, eyes wide and full of tears. She looks like she's been crying for hours, eyes red and puffy, lips quivering.</p><p> </p><p>"What..." Josie's voice is barely above a whisper, and she clears her throat, immediately regretting it as every cough feels like it's tearing away at the inside of her throat. "What's happening? How did I get here?" Her voice comes out weak and shaky. </p><p> </p><p>The questions lingers in the air. Caroline's eyes widen slowly, matching the lost look her blonde daughter is sporting. Alaric clenches his jaw, taking a sharp inhale. "Sweetie, you..." He trails off, unable to look his oldest daughter in the eyes. "What's the last thing you remember?"</p><p> </p><p>Josie let's her head fall back onto her pillow with a sigh, shutting her eyes tightly. "We were... We were fighting. The lizards. I remember..." She stops, trying to allow the memories back into her head. She sighs. "Nothing. I remember nothing. Did we... Win?"</p><p> </p><p>Alaric seems to tense up further, his eyes still avoiding Josie. "You're right, we were fighting a group of lizards. <em> Giant </em>lizards. We'd managed to rip out the heart of each and every one, but." He leans his head back slightly, staring at the ceiling. After a couple of seconds he sniffles and looks back down. Josie realizes he was trying not to cry again. "Not before one of them got to you. It bit you, hard, jaw clasped around your stomach. If it hadn't been for Hope, it would've bit you in half." He swallows hard.</p><p> </p><p>Josie looks at her dad, then turns her head to Hope sitting next to her. She still hasn't moved at all, but Josie can feel how tense she is.</p><p> </p><p>"So I'm recovering." That makes sense. It would explain why she feels so sick, so tired, so worn out. Like her insides are attempting to evacuate her body, like her brain is going to explode against the sides of her skull.</p><p> </p><p>The tension in the room begins to rise, pressing against the walls, threatening to blow off the roof, crawling down her throat, crawling, suffocating her.</p><p> </p><p>Something is wrong. No one lets out a single breath of air and Josie feels like she can't breathe. Like they're all holding every last ounce of air in their lungs and refusing to let it go. There's almost no sound, no motion, but Josie swears she feels the grip on her hand tighten.</p><p> </p><p>"You... There's. More." It sounds like the words are painful coming out of her father's mouth. Like they're poisonous. Like he doesn't want to say what's coming next.</p><p> </p><p>"You uhm... You-"</p><p> </p><p>"You died!" The words leave Lizzie's mouth fast, rushed, too loud. Way, way too loud.</p><p> </p><p>Josie feels like her heart stops beating in her chest. But only for a second, the next beat shaking through her rib cage like an earthquake splitting the ground. How could she have died? She’s right here.</p><p> </p><p>“Wha...how?” She looks at her dad, eyes wide, full of fear. “Dad, is it true? Did I...did I die?” Her voice is barely above a whisper, but it echoes against the walls nonetheless.</p><p> </p><p>Her attention stays on her dad, distracting her from the fact that her hand is almost being crushed now.</p><p> </p><p>Alaric finally meets her gaze, a sadness deeper than she’s ever seen in his eyes. A pain greater than she’d ever imagined he could express. He swallows hard, knowing that his words would only betray him and so he just nods.</p><p> </p><p>Josie can feel the tears running down her cheeks. None of this makes any sense. There's a nauseating feeling rising in her chest, like bile, making her sick, burning her throat, like acid. </p><p> </p><p>"How… How is this possible?"</p><p> </p><p>There's no answer. </p><p> </p><p><em> "How is this possible? Answer me dad!" </em> Her voice comes out gruff and hoarse, but loud. It's followed by a loud cough. It startles the middle aged man and his eyes snap to hers. Seeing the tears flowing down her cheeks breaks his heart, but he knows he can't prevent her from finding out. </p><p> </p><p>With a sigh he looks at Caroline who nods. The blonde goes to sit next to her daughter, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder as Alaric clears his throat. </p><p> </p><p>"The lizards. Monsters. Dorian and I spent a lot of time trying to figure out exactly what kind of monster we were dealing with." He rubs his hands together uncomfortably, shifting a bit. "It's kind of hard to find good information on monster lore rooted in lizards, they've been used as a source for fiction in various ways for decades but, the most prominent thing we could find is that most of them to some degree can regenerate body parts. There was nothing conclusive but, we figured it was probably best to rip their hearts out just in case they could regrow their heads or something. So, that's what we did. We ripped out the hearts of every single lizard. As soon as they were all down, we all rushed to your side, but, there was no way we could get you back in the condition you were in. We weren't happy about it but we had no other choice, so MG fed you his blood. But as it turns out. We failed."</p><p> </p><p>Alaric grits his teeth together, jaw tensing up as he recounts the events. If Josie hadn't been so desperate to know what happened, she might have told him to stop there. It's clearly upsetting to him. But she needs to know. </p><p> </p><p>"Dorian believes what we were actually dealing with was a 'flammeus lacertilia'. It means 'fire lizard' or 'flaming lizard', something like that. We realized too late that they weren't actually dead. They were able to regrow their hearts. It wasn't until we lit them on fire that they finally died. But, by the time they were all reduced to ashes, we realized that the one who'd attacked you earlier had gotten the chance to sneak up on you in the chaos of all of them waking up. Josie you… You weren't moving. No one saw exactly what happened but you.." He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You were dead."</p><p> </p><p>There's a loud, squeaking screech echoing through the room, followed by a sudden thump. It takes a second for Josie to realize her hand is no longer resting on the bed, it's being lifted into the air. </p><p> </p><p>Her eyes find Hope, who's now standing next to her bed, the chair she'd been sitting on lying on the floor. </p><p> </p><p>All eyes in the room now land on the tribrid, shocked by the sudden sound. Lizzie stares at her, brows furrowed. "Mikaelson, what do yo-" </p><p> </p><p>"Not now Lizzie." Hope finally tears her gaze from the outside, head snapping around as she snarls at the blonde. Tears are freely running down her cheeks, pooling at the collar of her shirt. Had she been crying this entire time? If the red puffiness of her eyes are any indication, Josie would say yes, she must have been crying for a while.</p><p> </p><p>Lizzie just stares at her in disbelief, mouth agape but before she can respond, Josie feels her hand hit the bed in a sudden drop and Hope disappears through the door to the twin's room. </p><p> </p><p>The room is silent, only beginning to operate again when Josie is thrown into a coughing fit. If she was actually in the middle of transitioning, that would explain why she felt like her insides were trying to eat each other. Why her blood boils and her throat closes up before she can react much to anything. </p><p> </p><p>"Why… Where is she going?" Josie looks to her dad after she finishes coughing her lungs up, brows furrowed and a small pout on her lips.</p><p> </p><p>Alaric sighs, watching the door as it clicks shut again. "I don't know sweetie. Just, give her some time."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is a little shorter than I would’ve liked, but it tells everything I want to, so I hope you still enjoy it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hope throws her fist against the punching bag, feeling the weight give in under her knuckles. Each thump thunders through the gym, distracting the tribrid from her thoughts. At least to some extent.</p><p> </p><p>The muscles in her arms are sore, burning with each movement but she doesn't care. She doesn't <em> care. </em> She <em> needs </em> it to hurt. </p><p> </p><p>No. She doesn't <em> need </em> it to hurt. </p><p> </p><p>She <em> deserves </em> it.</p><p> </p><p>The punching bag gives in as she feels her body slump against it, and it takes her a moment to steady herself. Exhaustion pulsates through her, flowing through her veins and spreading throughout her body. When was the last time she slept? </p><p> </p><p>It was before the encounter with the lizards. Before Josie was attacked, before Josie… </p><p> </p><p>Just the thought is too much. Hope feels her knees buckle and they give in under her, sending her to the floor in an instant. Her knees scrape against the wooden floorboards but she barely feels it. Not only that, she doesn't care. It'll heal in a few minutes anyways. </p><p> </p><p>She fights the urge to close her eyes, but it's a fight she's unable to win. Her eyes flutter shut against her best will. </p><p> </p><p><em> "Josie? Josie?! Dr. Saltzman, I can't find Josie! I can't-" Desperation laces her words. She was right there a moment ago. She was </em> right there <em> , she was </em> fine <em> . She was </em> okay <em> . They'd saved her.  </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Hope looks around frantically, the bodies of the lizards still ablaze around her. Her heart hammers against her ribcage, threatening to crawl up her throat and leave her. Simply just thump away from her. Her entire body is tense with fear, with desperation. How could she have let herself lose sight of Josie?  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> "Hope…" Alaric's voice sounds hollow behind her. She tremble as she turns around, eyes wide- </em>
</p><p> </p><p>She tears her eyes open with a sharp inhale, rushing to stand back up, her whole body trembling. She can't relive this. Not now.</p><p><br/>-</p><p> </p><p>"Dad, we have to do something. There has to be… There has to be something we can do." Lizzie slams her palms on her father's desk, staring up at him. Tears still sting at the corners of her eyes and she feels like she might never fully stop crying again. </p><p> </p><p>"We have to fix this. We have to fix her, we have to, I can't-'' Lizzie stops speaking, inhaling sharply as she puts a hand on her stomach. She clutches the fabric of her shirt tightly, pressing her eyes shut before focusing them back on her dad, trying desperately to control her ragged breathing. </p><p> </p><p>"I can't feel her anymore dad." Her voice cracks around the edges and once again tears begin to stream down the siphoner's cheeks. </p><p> </p><p>Alaric's back is turned to his daughter, his arms crossed over his chest as he stares out the large window behind his desk. He knows he should turn around. He knows he should be looking at his daughter, he should be holding her, comforting her. But he doesn't know how. What could he possibly do in this situation? He feels so utterly powerless. He couldn't protect Josie, and he can't take away Lizzie's pain. He failed. And so he can't get himself to turn around, and he can't look his daughter in the eyes. </p><p> </p><p>"Lizzie, sweetie, I don't… I don't think there's anything we can do. Trust me, I wish there was, I don't want this to happen anymore than you do, but she died. She's in transition and the best we can do right now is support her." His voice sounds weirdly hollow, empty, devoid of emotion. </p><p> </p><p>Lizzie feels her fists tense up and she reaches up, aggressively wiping her sleeve over her face to soak up the tears. She still feels a stabbing pain in the pit of her stomach, as if someone had cut out her liver and was forcing her to live without it. </p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, you're right." She mutters in defeat. Lizzie lets herself slump back into an armchair, eyes shutting. "I just hope she's letting mom help her." She sighs. </p><p> </p><p>There's a small tap at the door and both of the Saltzman's turn their heads towards the door. Hope's head peaks in, a tense smile on her face. </p><p> </p><p>"Hope. Do you need something?" Alaric tilts his head a little, arms still crossed, almost as if he's hugging himself. </p><p> </p><p>"Dr. Saltzman. Lizzie." Hope avoids their eyes as she nods a stiff greeting. "I just wanted to tell you I'm going out to the woods to… You know." She mutters. </p><p> </p><p>Alaric furrows his brows together, concern painted across his face. "Now? Hope are you sure it's a good idea for you to go through the transformation right now? You could get seriously hurt, you haven't slept for days and honestly you look-" He cuts himself off, looking away a bit ashamed. Lizzie rolls her eyes, noticing the concern creeping into her father's voice. Typical. </p><p> </p><p>Hope raises her eyebrow accusingly, about to ask exactly what he was about to say when Lizzie decides to finish his sentence. </p><p> </p><p>"You look like shit." She says casually, now inspecting her nails in an attempt to come across in a way that doesn't make it seem like she's about to bend over and hurl. </p><p> </p><p>Hope glares at her and scoffs, but her heart's not in it. How could it be? Josie might still be alive technically, but what Lizzie had gone through wasn't easy. If anyone understands the pain of losing a family member, it's Hope. Not to mention the fact that she had sort of overheard the conversation taking place before she entered the room. By accident of course, she wasn't trying to eavesdrop. If insulting Hope could take her mind off of the severed twin bond, off of the looming presence of her sister's death, the uncertainty, off of the image of her lifeless body cradled in her father's arms… Well, then Hope was gonna stand there and take it. </p><p> </p><p>She shrugs and looks out the window, jaw clenching. Lizzie is probably right, she was sleep deprived and hadn’t showered in even longer. "It doesn't matter. I can't sleep and I need to…" What, distract herself? Run away? Pretend the girl she was in love with hadn't died before her eyes? That she hadn't died because of Hope, because Hope wasn't there for her? "... I need to blow off some steam." She finishes before tuning on her heel and heading for the door. </p><p> </p><p>"Mikaelson!" Lizzie's voice makes her freeze in her tracks. She tenses up, waiting to hear the words she knew was coming. This was it. This was the moment Lizzie was going to blame all of this, the monsters being back, Josie dying, all of it on her. It had just been a matter of time, there’s no way she doesn’t blame her for all of this. Hope definitely blames herself. She sucks in a sharp breath, holding it as she waits. </p><p> </p><p>"Don't shut her out. I know it's hard, hell I can barely look her in the eyes, but. Don't. For Josie."</p><p> </p><p>Hope feels like her whole body went numb and she swallows hard, forcing her feet to move again. Before she leaves the room, she turns her head, eyes meeting Lizzie's. She gives a small nod, then she leaves.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>It hurts. Oh god how it hurts. </p><p> </p><p>Over time Hope had learned how to transform into her wolf without feeling the pain. Her father had taught her how to embrace the transformation and let it in. He'd taught her to welcome her wolf to take over and lead the transformation, taught her not to fear it, not to fight it. It had become second nature to her, at times feeling more at home in her wolf form than as a human.</p><p> </p><p>But this time her entire body is fighting it. Her whole body is screaming at her, begging her not to do this, not to put herself through it. Her bones are resisting, fighting to stay intact.</p><p> </p><p>She's tired.</p><p> </p><p>She's exhausted. </p><p> </p><p>She's devastated. </p><p> </p><p>She can't embrace the transformation, and so she presses on. She forces each and every bone in her body to snap, to break. To reform. Each snap echoes through the treetops and she forces herself to listen to the sound, focusing on the deafening tearing and crunching as her body changes. She's so intent on making herself suffer through the sound of her body breaking apart, she barely registers the sounds of her own screams. </p><p> </p><p>After what feels like an eternity, the form of Hope’s white wolf rises. Her legs are trembling, paws trying to keep her steady. She takes a deep inhale before letting out a loud howl. A painful howl. A deeply wounded, desperate howl.</p><p> </p><p>This is exactly what she needs. Despite the pain, despite the agony, the transformation kept her mind busy. For once, she's grateful that she felt every single part of the transformation, every tiny pang of pain, every jolt of electricity that ran through her bones, and she almost finds herself wishing she could have dragged it out more, dragged out the sweet promise of distraction, dragged out the pain unrelated to everything she's been feeling. Almost. </p><p> </p><p>She's in no way less exhausted than she was before transforming, and yet she runs. She runs past trees. She runs through clearings and across flowerfields. She runs as far as her legs will allow, and when they tell her to stop she runs even faster. She runs until the pain is the only thing left, until the exhaustion is so deeply embedded in her limbs that her sole focus is staying on her feet. She runs until she can no longer hear Alaric's voice echoing her name in her head, until she can no longer hear the sound of her own sobs in response to him. She runs until her vision blurs and her mind fogs and the vision of Josie lying limb in her father's arms, unbreathing and stripped of life fades to the back of her mind. </p><p> </p><p>She runs. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here comes the next chapter!<br/>I pretty much wrote chapter 2 and 3 at the same time so enjoy the quick update!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"How are you feeling sweetie?" Caroline sits down at the edge of her daughter's bed, gently taking her hand in her own. The question seems stupid as soon as she asks it, she could clearly remember how she'd felt when she was turning, clearly remember the fear, the pain, the all consuming </span>
  <em>
    <span>hunger </span>
  </em>
  <span>urging, no begging her to feed. But she still wants to know. She wants to know how her eldest daughter is feeling about this and she wants to help her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Josie is still lying on her bed, aimlessly staring at the ceiling. After Hope had left her room, everyone had decided to give Josie some space to deal with the information she'd gotten, opting to just have one person stay with her for company and support. Since the person she really wanted by her side had already left, Josie had wanted the person who stayed to be Lizzie, but having her mother by her side feels like the right decision at the moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sighs, sniffling a bit as silent tears slowly run down the sides of her face, dripping onto her pillow. She doesn't quite know how to put her emotion into words, how to describe what she's feeling. How could she put the gut wrenching pain into words? The ever present fear that had settled in her very bones, the all consuming desire to sink her teeth into the next human she lays her eyes on? Not to mention the void, empty feeling in her chest, like something is missing. Like she herself is missing. Her hand reached up, slowly wiping at her eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Overwhelmed." She responds, the word drawing a short, hollow chuckle out of her. Well, that's one way to describe how she's feeling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Caroline can't help but smile at that. Her eyes are still sad, distant, but Josie doesn't mention it. She just squeezes her mother's hand, grateful to have her there. It seems to snap Caroline out of whatever thought she'd been preoccupied with and her smile gets a little wider.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's to be expected, baby." She says softly. She reaches up, gently wiping some hair from her daughter's face. The action does nothing to stop Josie from crying, her whole body clinging to her mother's concern and she lets out a choked sob. "Oh sweetie, come here." Caroline quickly moves up the bed to sit next to her daughter, arms opening up. Josie pulls herself up, wrapping her arms around her mother's waist as she buries her face into her neck, letting herself go completely. She sobs loudly in her mother's embrace, the blonde gently stroking her hair. "It's okay sweetie, let it out. It's okay." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stay like that for what feels like hours. Eventually Josie isn't crying anymore and after another moment being comforted by her mom, she slowly pulls away. Her eyes are red, and it does nothing to distract from the fact that she already looks awful. She had recently died and she definitely looks the part. Caroline smilets softly at her, wiping her eyes gently when she pulls away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm scared mom." Her voice is impossibly small, and Caroline can't help but feel for her. "Of course you are Josie baby." She says, sighing. Alaric and her had talked about the possibility this could happen to one of their daughters at some point, they'd even discussed it as a way to fix the merge. Both had discarded that idea quickly though. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Sweetie have you given any thought to what you're going to do? I love you so much and I'd die before losing you but you know I would never force this on you. I know what it's like not to get the choice to transition in the first place. The choice to feed… It's yours alone to make." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Josie bites her lip hard, wiping at her eyes. "I uh… Yeah. Yeah, I think so."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Lizzie, sweetie?" Caroline walks into the headmaster's office, looking around for her youngest daughter. Lizzie looks up from the armchair she's been curled up in, her skin clammy and pale. If she hadn't known better, Caroline would be inclined to believe she was the one om transition. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Mom?" She asks weakly. Caroline walks over to her, smiling softly as she kneels down in front of her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey honey." She runs her hand over Lizzie's forehead, feeling for her temperature. "You don't look too well. Josie would like to see you if you're ready but if you want, you can go take a shower first. Your dad is with her right now." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lizzie swallows hard, considering if she's ready to go talk to her sister. A part of her wants to say no but she knows she has to do it eventually. She nods slowly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I think a shower might be a good idea. Don't want her to end up being worried about me instead." Lizzie sits up, smiling weakly at her mother who gives her a satisfied nod in return. "I'll get you a towel and some clean clothes. You just go, get started on the shower, okay baby?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Okay mom. Thanks."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Jo." The door to their room opens and Lizzie walks inside. The shower did her good, the color had returned to her skin and her hair was covered by a white towel. There were no signs she wasn’t feeling well and in the state she's in, Josie doesn't notice anything. "How was spending time with dad?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alaric's shift had been tense. They barely spoke, he mostly just looked at her with the same sadness he had earlier. The only time they actually spoke was when Josie had managed to drift off, causing Alaric to instantly shake her awake to make sure she was still alive. He'd almost asked her if she was going to feed, she could tell. But he didn't. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It was… Awkward." Josie laughs and Lizzie can't help but join in, the tension easing up a little, if only for a moment. She moves away from the door, coming over to sit in her sister's bed. She looks at her, just now realizing how bad off Josie looks. She feels the guilt grip her, how could she have been so selfish as to keep away from her sister when she so clearly needed her?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You have to stop looking at me like that Liz." She says, voice soft. She gently rests her hand on top of Lizzie's, taking it into her own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know." Lizzie's voice is coarse, rough as she changes her focus back to Josie. "I know, I just. It's not fair. None of this is fair. You weren't… You're not…" She sighs, clenching her free hand together in a fist. "You don't deserve this." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The tears she'd been fighting since she entered their bedroom starts falling, gently dripping onto the bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm so sorry Josie." Her voice cracks around the edges as she pulls her twin into a hug. Slowly, Josie wraps her arms around Lizzie, letting out a light chuckle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, it's not your fault." She whispers. "Besides. Maybe this is for the best. We were running out of time to stop the merge anyways. This way we don't have to do it and you'll be able to live a long, happy life." She murmurs, gently rubbing circles into Lizzie's back with her thumb. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lizzie can't help but let a smile across her lips and she sighs, leaning back just enough to look at her sister. Despite the tears on her cheeks, there's now a playful look on her face. Or at least as playful as Lizzie can manage, her eyes still oddly blank and empty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well, not as long as you, but I guess if we have to look on the bright side." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silence envelops them as Josie realizes what her sister said. Her eyebrows pull together and she sucks in her bottom lip, quickly averting her gaze from Lizzie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Jo, what's up?" Lizzie raises her eyebrow, the blank look in her eyes fading to make room for concern.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Josie doesn’t meet her eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jo.” Lizzie looks at her sister, tone stern and serious.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going to feed. I already told mom. That's why I wanted to see you, I wanted to tell you myself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The silence following her words is deafening.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You're not going to WHAT?” Lizzie’s jaw drops, unsure if she heard her correctly. The blank look in her eyes now completely gone, replaced with anger and betrayal at her sister’s declaration.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re joking.” She says, her voice laced with determination. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lizzie-“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No. You’re joking. Josette Lucas Saltzman, tell me you are joking and that I’m not about to lose my twin sister at the tender age of 21! Tell me you haven’t decided to let yourself die, you can’t do this!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lizzie!” Josie looks at her sister, a pained expression on her face. “Please. Lower your voice and just… Let me explain myself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lizzie reluctantly shuts her mouth. She crosses her arms, huffing slightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine. Listening.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was hard for Josie to take her sister completely seriously, Lizzie had always been somewhat of a drama queen. But this was a serious situation, and for once, Josie found Lizzie's reaction to be quite appropriate. Still, she needs her to understand, needs her to accept her decision. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Josie sighs, biting her lip softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Remember our 17th birthday?” She asks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lizzie turns to look at her, slightly confused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I… Yeah, of course. You were under the influence of dark magic. You tried to kill me and absorb my subconscious into yours, which, if you ask me, means you owe me on-“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lizzie, please.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lizzie shuts her mouth again and nods. “Yeah, yeah, listening.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m scared, okay? The dark magic, it changed me. Influenced me. I don’t want to imagine the damage I could do as a vampire with access to my magic all the time. And the ability to turn off my humanity Lizzie, what if… What if I like it? The power, the darkness. I just can’t take that risk. I can already feel the hunger inside of me, it's like… Like it won't let me go, won't let me rest." Josie sighs, averting her gaze as she finishes speaking. She knows her sister isn't going to accept this but what other choice does she have? It's too dangerous.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lizzie just stares at her, mouth agape. She's clearly trying to form some sort of sentence but all she manages is some strained sounds at the back of her throat before closing her mouth in defeat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I have to go." She says suddenly, rising herself from the bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Josie looks at her, confused but mostly sad. "W-where are you going?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Out. I just… I need some air, okay?" She tries to smile but it's forced. Just like the smile Josie gives her in return. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Right."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lizzie heads for the door, but as she grabs the handle she's stopped by her sister's voice. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Lizzie?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes Jo?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Promise you'll come back before I… You know? I don't want this to be the last conversation we ever have." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lizzie swallows hard, forcing the lump in her throat down. Her knuckles have turned white around the handle. She begins to open the door, not once turning to face her sister. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I promise."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She disappears through the door and it closes behind her with a thud.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hope! <em> Hope Andrea Mikaelson! </em> I know you're around here somewhere, I did a locator spell! You can't hide anymore, get your furry ass out here and listen to me!" Lizzie yells at the top of her lungs, kicking a branch out of her way as she walks down a small forest path. She holds a map up in front of her, staring at the path the blood is forming. According to the locator spell Hope should be no more than twenty feet away from her. "Hope, I swear to god, if you do-" She stops dead in her tracks, upper body flying forward as a coughing fit strong enough to send her lungs flying hits her. The map crumples against her coat as she lays her hand on her stomach, riding out the intense coughing. Maybe being out in the woods isn't ideal for someone in her condition but that doesn't matter. She needs to find Hope. </p><p> </p><p>"For fucks sake Hope, where are you…" She mutters to herself.</p><p> </p><p>A low groan sounds a few feet to her left and she quickly snaps her head to look for it. She spots a hand on the ground, sticking out from behind a tree.</p><p> </p><p>"Hope!" God she really hopes it's her, otherwise she's gonna have a whole other bundle of problems on her hands. </p><p> </p><p>Lizzie quickly runs behind the tree, squeaking at the sight that meets her. She quickly averts her eyes, taking off her coat and throwing it down, covering up an unconscious, human Hope. Thank god she's already covered up by leaves and grass. She clears her throat, gently nudging Hope's shoulder with her foot. "Hope. Hope come on, wake up!" She hisses. </p><p> </p><p>Hope stirs a little, groaning under her breath. The blonde watches her intently but nothing more happens and she rolls her eyes. "Oh for crying out loud. Mikaelson!" She kicks Hope's shoulder softly, just enough for it to lift up into the air before falling back down with a thud. This causes the tribrid to groan and she slowly comes to, pushing herself off the ground a little. </p><p> </p><p>"What the…" She murmurs, her hand quickly going to her forehead to rub at it. Her entire body is aching, her muscles throbbing. The pain runs through her, making her entire body feel heavy. She feels numb, yet all consumed by the agony she put her body through. She looks down at herself, realizing three things. The first thing she realizes is the coat covering her naked human form. The second thing she realizes is the fact that she's reverted back to her human form, although she has no memory of undergoing the transformation back, almost as if she was already unconscious before it happened. The third thing she realizes? All the thoughts she was trying to escape are back, and she almost lets out a sob.</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes dart up as she sits up, realizing that someone is standing in front of her. She clampers the coat tighter around herself, one eyebrow raising when her eyes land on the rather disgruntled expression of one Lizzie Saltzman.</p><p> </p><p>"Lizzie? What uh, what are you doing here?" She quickly looks away, pulling her knees to her chest and hugging them. Her skin is scratched up, dirty. She vaguely remembers tumbling through a bramble patch when her legs finally gave out under her, sending her spiraling into a tree. So that was probably why she doesn’t remember transforming back. Her eyes widen slowly at yet another realization and she looks at Lizzie, frightened. “You didn’t… see anything, did you?”</p><p> </p><p>Lizzie looks puzzled. “See anything? What do you me- OH. No, gross, I threw my coat over you. And now I need you to put it on and come with me, I need your help. I’ll be right over here.” Lizzie quickly stomps back to the forest path she came from before Hope has a chance to object, and she sighs, pushing herself off the ground. She slips on Lizzie’s coat, grateful that it’s long enough to reach her knees. She brushes off the coat a little, before making her way to Lizzie. As she looks around, she’s suddenly quite grateful the siphoner came to find her as she seems to have ended up quite a long way away from the school and in effect any of her spare clothes deposits.</p><p> </p><p>Lizzie is already walking back towards the school and Hope has to run to catch up to her, wincing as she feels an intense throbbing in her left ankle. Powering through, she catches up to the taller girl, still keeping up her tempo to be able to keep up with her. “Lizzie hold on a bit please.” She whimpers. “Could you please tell me why you’re here?”</p><p> </p><p>Lizzie continues at the same speed, rolling her eyes at Hope’s obliviousness. “You’re seeing my sister whether you want to or not.” She says sternly. Hope stumbles a bit over her own feet, still struggling to keep up, but Lizzie doesn’t care. They don’t have a second to spare. The longer they’re out here, the more likely it is that there'll be no Josie to see, no Josie to return to.</p><p> </p><p>“Lizzie no, I’m not. I know you want me to but I just… I can’t, okay? I can’t see her like that, I can’t-“</p><p> </p><p>“This isn’t about you Hope!” Lizzie snaps her head back towards the shorter girl. The sudden movement sends a shiver down her spine and she coughs into her hand before turning back to the path and continuing back towards the school. “This is about Josie. This is about what <em> she </em>needs right now. And what she needs is to see you Hope. To know how you feel. Before it's too late."</p><p> </p><p>Hope stops dead in her tracks, brows furrowing. "Too late? Lizzie, what's that supposed to mean?" </p><p> </p><p>Lizzie stops as well, her entire body tensing up when she realizes what she just said. Fuck. She clenches her jaws, teeth gritting together as she mulls over how to deliver the news to Hope. She deserves to know, she knows she does. And after all, wasn’t that the reason she'd come to get her? But now, the words were getting stuck in her throat. Tears sting the corners of her eyes. Oh god, her sister is going to die.</p><p> </p><p>“Lizzie, I asked you something!” Hope sounds desperate now, getting her body back into motion as she walks up next to the blonde. “What do you mean b-“ She stops, staring at the siphoner as she notices tears running down her cheeks. Lizzie has clamped her hand over her stomach once again, breath fast and uneven. Hope’s eyes widen and she quickly puts a hand on Lizzie’s, looking up at her.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey. Hey, come on. Breathe.” She says softly, full of concern and worry. She can’t shake the feeling that her entire world is about to be turned upside down, that everything she thought she would always be able to count on is going to change. “Talk to me. What’s happening?”</p><p> </p><p>Lizzie looks up and meets her eyes. She inhales sharply, trying to steady her breathing as she gathers herself. “She’s not going to feed Hope. She’s going to-“</p><p> </p><p>“-die.” Hope finishes her sentence for her, and it feels like someone pulled the earth from under her feet. Everything blurs, spinning and she has to steady herself not to fall over. “She’s going to die.” She breathes, tears welling up in her own eyes. Her hands slowly fall from Lizzie’s and suddenly she feels like her entire body is made of lead. Like the only thing keeping her from completely losing herself has been snatched away from her and she’ll never be able to retrieve it. She feels absolutely gutted, empty. As if someone had cut out her heart and was forcing her to live without it.</p><p> </p><p>“No. No, I don’t accept this.” She shakes her head, turning away from Lizzie and towards the direction of the school. Suddenly, it’s the taller girl who has a hard time keeping up, and she stumbles after Hope as soon as the tribrid sets off running.</p><p> </p><p>She feels her ankle throbbing with each step, but she doesn’t care, and she finds herself thinking that not even a severed foot could keep her from running at this moment. She vaguely hears Lizzie’s screaming behind her, telling her to hurry back and get to Josie. And Hope does. She doesn’t waste one second.</p><p> </p><p>She runs.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>When she returns to the school, the sky has begun to turn dark. Her entire body aches. As it turns out, being passed out against a tree after being sleep deprived and forcing every bone in your body to break twice, doesn’t actually refresh you that much. She runs to her room, covering the floor in mud as she drags her bare feet under her. As she enters, she finds her bed looking real inviting, but she shakes her head. She grabs a brush, getting the various twigs and leaves out of her hair before getting it brushed somewhat into place. She washes her face with a cloth and gives her body a quick splash of water, just getting the worst grime off of her. She grabs a change of clothes, quickly dressing herself as she’s already halfway out her door again.</p><p> </p><p>Soon she finds herself in front of Josie’s room. Her head is still spinning and she inhales, holding her breath for a couple of seconds before exhaling and shaking her body a little. She wasn’t lying when she told Lizzie she wasn’t ready to see the brunette, but she also knows Lizzie is right. This isn’t about Hope. For all she knew, she might never feel ready to face Josie, how could she? But Josie needs to see her. So she can do this. For Josie. She grabs the handle, pushing the door open.</p><p> </p><p>The first thing she sees when she enters, is MG standing next to the bed. He’s laughing. It looks like he’s telling Josie a story, using his entire body to narrate. She only stays focused on him for a second before she hears another laughter, and her eyes quickly flicker over to look at Josie. Even though her laughter sounds so familiar, it’s different. Hollow. It’s not the lighthearted, angelic sound Hope has grown so accustomed to. The difference makes her heart drop.</p><p> </p><p>Josie looks up when she realizes the door is open and her breath gets caught in her throat. It sends her into an intense coughing fit, and for a moment Hope thinks she might be dying right now. She steps forward, concern written all over her face. “Josie!”</p><p> </p><p>Josie looks up at her through her coughing and after another few seconds she manages to get it to die down. The brunette gives her a small smile, “Hope. Hi.”</p><p> </p><p>MG swallows awkwardly, looking between the two of them. “I uh, I’ll give you two a moment. Just holla if you need me to come back, okay Jose?” He slinks to the door. Josie nods in his direction and he closes the door after exiting.</p><p> </p><p>Hope just stands there, looking at Josie. She opens her mouth to speak but is cut off by a weak voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Lizzie sent you.” Her voice may be low, weak, damaged, but there’s still a certainty to her voice.</p><p> </p><p>Hope swallows and nods. “Yeah. Well, no. Well, she told me what was happening and I decided I need to see you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah? Why? There’s nothing you can say to make me change my mind Hope. I’ve made my decision.”</p><p> </p><p>Hope takes a few steps towards the bed, sitting at the foot of it. She bites her lip, trying not to show the hurt in her eyes when she looks at Josie. Judging from the look she gets in return, she isn’t exactly successful.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want to lose you Josie.” Her hand reaches out, and she gently takes Josie’s admittedly clammy hand in hers. She doesn’t care.</p><p> </p><p>“Then why did it take you so long to come see me?” She doesn’t return the hold, but she also doesn’t move her hand away. She averts her gaze, scared of the answer.</p><p> </p><p>“I was scared, Josie. And I’m sorry. I guess I needed someone to remind me that this isn’t about me. Part of me wanted to believe that there was no rush, because the alternative… It’s just too hard to think about. Not having you here. You, being gone. The person who wanted me to stay. I don’t know when it happened, but at some point this school stopped being my home. This school stopped being my home, because, Josie, you became my home. And without a home, where do I belong?”</p><p> </p><p>Josie’s mouth falls open and she just stares at Hope. The tribrid hasn’t even realized, but tears are slowly running down her cheeks. If Josie doesn’t say something soon, she’s worried she might actually choke on her heart, currently caught in her throat.</p><p> </p><p>The siphoner is about to speak when her eyes widen and she suddenly grabs onto Hope’s hand hard. She doubles over, heaving as she once again starts coughing. Except this time, crimson covers the duvet in front of her as blood splatters from her mouth.</p><p> </p><p>Hope’s eyes widen and she looks at Josie, eyes full of fear. “Josie?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hope, I…” She coughs again, meeting Hope’s eyes with a desperate urgency. “Hope, it’s happening, I can feel it.” Hope has never seen the other girl this scared before. And Josie feels it. She feels all of it. And she realize she's making a mistake. </p><p> </p><p>“Hope, I don’t want to die.”</p><p> </p><p>Hope quickly gets up. She looks at the door. “I’ll get a blood bag.”</p><p> </p><p>Josie tightens her grip on Hope’s hand. “It’s too late.”</p><p> </p><p>A mouthful of blood hits the duvet as she coughs again and Hope shakes her head.</p><p> </p><p>“No. It’s not.” She hurries to Josie’s side, kneeling on the bed next to her. She pulls her sleeve up, holding her wrist in front of Josie’s mouth. Josie looks terrified, shaking her head. “No…”</p><p> </p><p>“Josie. It’s the only option. You have to feed.”</p><p> </p><p>Josie keeps shaking her head. Hope sees the veins around her eyes turn dark, and she can tell how hard the other girl is fighting to keep her fangs from extending as her lips part.</p><p> </p><p>“Hope, no. You’ll get hurt.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll heal.” She gently presses her wrist against the soft, pouty lips she’s been dreaming of pressing her own to for so long now. “Please.” Her hand gently tangles into Josie’s brown curls and she watches as Josie presses her eyes shut. Her mouth opens, and with a pained expression she wraps her lips around Hope’s wrist. Hope gently scratches the back of Josie’s head as she throws her head back, letting out a pained gasp when a pair of fangs break her skin.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well guys, what do you all think about that? I hope I managed to do this moment justice and was able to convey it the way I wanted to!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There's finally an update for this!<br/>I apologize for the wait, life got in the way and I've honestly been struggling because I felt like the climax in the last chapter didn't live up to my own  expectations and I got annoyed at myself for not going back and edit it even more before posting it, but it is what it is, I think this chapter is definitely getting everything back on track!<br/>So enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The veins around Josie’s eyes turn darker, black lines running across her face, all the way down her neck and into her shirt. Her eyes shut tight, a painful look on her face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There's a gentle dripping sound as a thin line of blood runs down her chin and onto the cover on her bed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Josie…" Hope mutters softly, her gaze flickering slightly. The blood rushes from her wrist and into the brunette's mouth fast as the heretic sucks hard and eagerly. The more she sucks, the more painful her expression gets. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There's a slow realization spreading on Hope's face and her eyes go wide. "Josie I think that's enough." She says as softly as she can, not wanting to let fear be heard in her voice. "Just let go, I know you can do it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Josie's eyes open slowly and Hope can see the brown of her eyes clouded over with a lust she's never seen before. She can't lie, the look is unsettling her. Josie's eyes flicker up to meet Hope's and there's something behind the cloud of bloodlust. There's fear, a deep, raw fear and in that moment Hope understands that Josie doesn't want to hurt her. She doesn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>want </span>
  </em>
  <span>to hurt her, but she can't stop. She can't stop </span>
  <em>
    <span>drinking. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hope swallows hard, fighting the dizziness that's beginning to settle in her body, spreading through her brain. Her thumb brushes over the nape of Josie's neck softly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry." She whispers before spreading her fingers out, pressing them against the back of her head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She can feel her knees buckle slightly under her and she knows it's now or never. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ad somnum." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The instant the words leave her mouth, Josie falls limp against Hope's torso. She feels her teeth slowly slide out of her wrist, and the spot where she was bitten is no longer bleeding. It barely looks like anything bit her at all. But even though her wounds have already healed, she can still feel the blood loss and she gently grabs Josie's head, guiding her to lie down on her pillow. She looks down at her for a moment, letting all the emotions she's been trying to avoid hit her all at once. She let’s every single emotion crash into her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The fear that's been fighting to settle in her chest finally hits her, full force and seeing Josie lie in front of her she can do nothing but let out a strangled sob. Her eyes running over her face, her hand slowly coming up to cup the brunette's cheek.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm so sorry Josie." She whispers softly. Tears stream down her cheeks, dripping gently onto the duvet, mixing slowly with the blood Josie had spilled when feeding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Wiping at her eyes, Hope slowly moves up to kiss Josie’s forehead, and she lingers for just a moment before pulling back. With as much strength as she can muster, she stands up, walking towards the bathroom. She has to bend over, grabbing at her stomach halfway there, the dizziness hitting her hard, but she fights against the urge to fall completely over. She has to get a towel to clean up the blood before Josie wakes up so she won’t have any temptations when she comes to again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As she reaches the bathroom she feels a bit of her strength returning to her. She can tell her blood is slowly coming back, and now her exhaustion only stems from still not having slept. She yawns loudly and splashes a little water in her face before grabbing a towel and getting it wet. With towel in hand she makes it back to Josie's bed and she gently wipes her face off, making sure to clean it off properly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not quite knowing what to do with the towel and blood stained sheets she just grabs it all, stuffing it in a laundry basket. She sticks her head outside of the heretic's room, pushing it outside when she confirms no one is out there. She closes the door and sends a quick text to Lizzie, telling her to come get it before it sparks any more trouble. She also tells her not to come inside. The message is vague, but she assures the blonde that her sister is okay. Without waiting for a reply, Hope walks back to Josie's bed and as soon as she makes contact with the mattress, her body slumps down onto the bed, eyes falling shut as she finally surrenders to sleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The headache is gone. The thundering, brain splitting, skull crushing headache is completely gone. It's like it was never there to begin with. Gone along with the headache is the nauseating feeling rooted in her gut. It no longer feels like she's going to puke her guts up at any moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The only thing that's left now is the all consuming, ever present, insatiable </span>
  <em>
    <span>hunger. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It's deep and raw and insistent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Josie's eyes shoot open, and she stares up at the ceiling, just taking in her surroundings for a moment. Everything is so intense and overwhelming. Her senses, her emotion, it's as if someone turned it all up to maximum volume and it was now blasting through her entire body. It made her feel lightheaded, overwhelmed and enveloped with a raw sensitivity that was unfamiliar, yet felt like she's known it forever. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There's a bird singing, on a branch, outside her closed window and she hears it. Every single, tiny peep coming out of the bird's beak hits her ears. She hears the slow creak of the branches and the rustle of the leafs in the wind. And she hears the gentle breathing of someone right next to her, and she realizes someone is lying in her bed, pressed against her side softly. Swallowing hard, Josie turns her head to see who it is and her cheeks turn a dark red when she's met with Hope's sleeping form. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The tribrid is snoring lightly, her lips parted and hair tangled together. All of these new sensations had completely overwhelmed Josie to a point where she hadn't even noticed the older girl until now. Hadn't noticed her hot breath on her neck, the way her body is pressed softly against her side, the way her arm is draped over Josie's stomach. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The way her scent hits her nose, filling her body with wildflowers and moss.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And something else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something coppery, metallic in it's scent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something that just like the scent, is just underneath the surface, hidden unless you're searching for it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something </span>
  <em>
    <span>forbidden. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Josie can feel the veins around her eyes begin to darken, she can feel the sharpness of her fangs as they slowly make their presence known, her tongue flickering over them impatiently. She can feel the deep, guttural, electrifying, all consuming desire, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>need </span>
  </em>
  <span>to sink her teeth into the tribrid's neck and let her mouth fill with the taste of her blood until there is nothing left to drink. Every single nerve is on fire, pulsing, thrumming under her skin as the raw, animalistic craving for Hope Mikaelson's blood runs through her veins, settles in her body and surrounds her every thought, her every instinct. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She can feel her mouth open and her face scrunch up as she prepares to sink her teeth into the soft, pale skin of the other's neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"The person who wanted me to stay."</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Josie blinks. For a second the darkness that's been clouding her eyes clear and she hears Hope's voice as clear as day echoing through her mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"This school stopped being my home, because, Josie, you became my home."</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The veins around her eyes turn darker, pitch black lines in stark contrast to her skin running over her face. Tears sting the corners of her eyes as she stares down onto Hope's face, mouth opening once more. She needs to feed. She needs it </span>
  <em>
    <span>so badly. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She feels like she's going to </span>
  <em>
    <span>die </span>
  </em>
  <span>without it. The hunger is occupying every cell in her body. Her entire body is trembling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Just let go, I know you can do it."</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her eyes widens and she realizes with the tearing sound of her sheets that she's been digging her nails into them hard. The sound shakes her out of the moment and with a sudden movement she stumbles out of the bed and crashes into the corner of her room, hard. Her body moving at a speed she’s never experienced before, causing her to almost crash straight into the wall. She wants to leave but she can't. It's light out and she hasn't yet made a daylight ring since she wasn't expecting to survive the transition. Besides, even if she could stay clear of the sunlight, there's other people out there, other people she could hurt. Her sister, her dad.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The brunette falls to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest as she crumbles up in the corner of her room. Tears are streaming down her cheeks as she looks around helplessly, the feeling of control slowly slipping through her grasp. Is this what it’s gonna be like from now on? Nothing but fear, nothing but hunger, unable to control her own urges?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a sound coming from her bed, but Josie is too afraid to look up. The tears that are streaming down her cheeks show no sign of stopping, but she quickly inhales, holding her breath in an attempt to remain silent. If she’s lucky Hope won’t notice her in the corner and she’ll leave the room and Josie can lock herself inside with a barrier spell or something like that. Or at least lock everyone else out. Lock Hope out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Josie?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sound definitely came from her bed, which means Hope might not have seen her, and her plan might work.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She hears Hope move in the bed and soon after her feet are on the ground. Josie swears she can hear the second Hope’s feet meet the floor, hear every single splinter in the floorboards creak under the tribrid’s weight. Not only that, she can hear the increased thump of Hope’s heart as the auburn haired girl starts to worry from the absence of the heretic. She can hear the increased thump of Hope’s heart and it drives her crazy. It fills her ears, floods her brain and she can’t stop herself from hissing in protest when her fangs begin to itch in her mouth. She knows she made a mistake instantly when she hears Hope’s entire body turn towards her and the quick steps coming towards her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Hope can reach her, Josie looks up, hissing at the other girl, attempting to warn her against approaching. She can see the surprise on Hope’s face before it’s quickly replaced with worry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your face…” Hope whispers softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Josie realizes her veins must have turned dark again and she quickly turns her head away from Hope, almost violently wiping at her eyes to remove the tears staining her skin. She needs to calm down, she needs to get herself under control.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Josie…” She can tell Hope kneels down right in front of her and she feels her breath get caught in her throat for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hope, please. You… You have to leave.” Her voice is weak, pleading.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a moment where everything stands still, then she feels a hand on her shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not afraid of you Josie. Please, look at me.” The softness in her voice makes Josie’s chest burst a little and she pulls in a shaky breath before slowly turning her head towards her friend. Her lips is pulled in between her teeth, exposing one of her fangs to the tribrid.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hope’s eyes are so gentle that Josie almost forgets all her troubles, but of course her luck won’t let her keep that feeling for long. She soon notices how Hope’s eyes are running across her face, scanning it. She’s looking at her veins. It somehow feels so intimate and Josie almost jumps when she feels the warmth of Hope's fingertips on her cheek, gently running along the dark veins.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I've never seen this up close like this before." Hope let's out and Josie can't shake the feeling that she almost sounds fascinated. Admiring.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She feels so calm in Hope's presence and yet her entire body burns with need. Like she'll never be happy again without Hope. Every thought running through her head is telling her to turn away, but she doesn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>want to. </span>
  </em>
  <span>She wants to look at Hope. After what feels like hours, but probably wasn't more than a minute or two, she finds herself staring straight into the deep ocean swirling in Hope's eyes. Their gaze locked onto each other, and Josie can't stop herself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The space between them closes, her teeth itching to sink into Hope's skin. But they don't. Instead she feels her lips press against the other's and for a second she feels unable to breath. She feels as if her entire body is frozen into place and there's nothing else to ever experience than this moment. And then she's proven wrong and everything ignites inside of her. The hand on her cheek slides down to rest against her neck and Hope is kissing her back. And she feels like she could melt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That is, until she feels her fangs press against the inside of her lip. She feels it scrape against the sensitive skin and she knows they want out, they want to taste the other girl. The thought scares her to her very core and on that instant she feels something rush through her. A power she has never felt before and before she can stop herself, her hand is pressing against Hope's chest and a blast of magic is sending the tribrid flying back. She slides over the floor and Josie stares at her as she stands up. Their eyes meet and Josie looks at her with wide eyes, fear written all over her face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm so sorry Hope."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There's a blur, and then the door slams open.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And Josie is gone.</span>
</p>
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